by Marilyn MonBRO
I sincerely hate to be the voice of reason here, because if there is anything I love more than the Boston Cannons, it’s enabling my fellow lady friends to make so-called “bad” decisions. But I must intervene here after stumbling upon this article on CollegeCandy.com about the lack of “daytime romance” in college. The writer says, “My attempts to move these ‘hang outs’ to the daytime have consistently been shut down, in a variety of mediums. When I suggested coffee to one guy, he texted ‘Let’s do drinks later instead.’ When I said ‘what about lunch’ to another, he IMed ‘Sorry, just ate.’” Ooof. Seems like she’s learning the hard way the way of the Bro when it comes to the harsh, cold light of day.
Bros, back me up here: Unless sex is involved, you guys do not want to “hang out” with girls during the day. If you’re not naked or if day-drinking is not involved, you’re not interested in spending your free time engaged in some sort of sapfest with a lady. When I polled an office filled with Bros, there were looks of sheer horror when I asked about daylight “hangouts.” The facial expressions told me all I needed to know, but their words were equally revealing. Here is how the BroBible team reacted to hearing that girls want to hang out during the day:
Eskimo Bro: “Daytime is prime video game time, so… you’ve got to know your priorities.”
AZ: “I don’t think it’s a general statement, I just think if a guy keeps shutting her down, he does not want to see HER during the day.”
Matthew Flow: “Say goodbye to tag teaming her roommmates. They remember the sober ones. Plus she’s going to tell all her friends, Tweet it, Facebook it. You’re basically saying, ‘Hey, let’s bang’ and she think, ‘If I let him bang me in the day, we will for sure start dating, I can’t wait for the Chay diamonds from Kay.’”
AG: “She’s going to make me go shopping… so no.”
AlwaysBeChaying: “The only person you get coffee with is an ex-girlfriend, because she already knows your tricks. I’ve asked some girls out for drinks before…”
Waffles McButter: “What would we do (again, outside of fucking or getting wasted) after that? Go shopping? Play video games? Throw the old football around? Talk about tampon absorption? You tell me because none of those activities with a chick (unless she is virtually a dude) would be at all enjoyable for a guy in college.”
JoePA: “Shit, this isn’t just about college. Anyone who’s naive enough to think a guy is going to want to hang out with a chick on a weekend afternoon post-graduation is a twat. Shit doesn’t change when you’re chained to a damn desk for 70 to 90 hours a week. Besides the occasional great late-afternoon fuck session, hanging out with a broad during the day on Saturday/Sunday means I have to put up with petty bullshit and sacrifice the shit I love doing, like shark fishing and slamming camo cans. Quote me on it.”
Here’s my take: I have to say, as a chick, I completely agree with the Bros. I would just rather be doing my own thing. I mean, think about it: have you ever seen a guy being dragged around a farmer’s market? It is the saddest thing to watch. He clearly could not give less of a shit about the different types of organic honey that this over-alled crunchy granola is trying to sell him, and he is miserable. As a girl, I wouldn’t even want to hang out with that guy anyway, because clearly, his will to live has been beaten to death by an ex who insisted on “hanging out.” Instead of painfully hanging around him during the day, I would way rather he watch football with his friends while I peacefully do my own thing with my friends.
When a relationship progresses to a point where coffee or lunch might be expected, and yet a Bro still insists on drinks instead, a chick should go ahead and take that as a cue that he is in no way going to hook up with her unless she’s schwasted. No go, move on. Then there’s the whole issue of his Bros: one of my coworkers, when asked about the topic, said, “Hanging out with a girl in daylight is much liking taking dick shots, you better know everyone will find out.” That sounds right.
What do you guys think? Are daytime hangouts ever acceptable? Sound Off in the comments…